Kids Text the Darndest Things!

Most of you that know me well, know that I have the cutest lil sis ever!!! She just turned 6 and the funny things she does never cease to amaze me! Well, thanks to my big SPOILER-ALERT-TITLE you know that she texts. Yep, this little lady just takes her mom's iPhone and texts her Manna.

KEY:

• My texts are in the green bubbles and I am referred to as Manna (short for Hermana) or Mann (short for Manna) :)
• Her texts are in the grey bubbles and she is referred to as Rica Rica and sweetie and cutie, etc...

Here are some of the highlights, I promise you that you will smile when you read these:

One Slippery Step At A Time

I will sue the pants off our landlords if I slip and fall.

Prettiest Puzzle I Ever Saw!

Buying this puzzle was quite a hassle.

First of all, it was around Christmastime and so there were like a million people in that tiny Borders store.

And second of all, the stupid sales lady must've been Team Jacob because her and I had a lengthy discussion about my choice of puzzle eye candy. I might have insulted Jacob's wig at some point during the conversation.

Here I am in my faux pink giraffe pj's getting started...

Look at how far I got in a couple hours! Hyuk, hyuk!!!

Baby-faced

Meet Owen. The totally adorable blonde baby featured on the top picture. Every day when I walked by this picture I just had to smile because of the cuteness factor but also because of his sweet/miserable face. Oh...and did I mention that his father was my boss at my previous work?

Although, that didn't really make a difference at 2am when Lindsey and I decided to snap a few snapshots-á-la-Owen! We got a little crazy and put them up on our boss' door. Remember, it was 2am, people.

The next morning we anxiously and somewhat nervously awaited our boss' arrival. No worries, he was cool about it and agreed with me that I pulled a much more believable Owen. :)

These Boots Weren't Really Made For Walkin'

Horseshoes. Or at least that's what Aaron & I called them because of the awful sound they made when I would walk. Yes, that dreadful $20-Target-Boots-that-I-wore-way-too-long sound. Girls, you all probably know what I'm talking about. At one point or another we've all bought some cheap shoes that we've worrrrrrrrn out!

These sad old boots of mine had seen better days. But I just wasn't ready to give them up because I hadn't found a perfect replacement for them.

My mom freaked when she saw the boots I was wearing (over my jeans, so there's no coverin' anything up!) Her magical shopping powers helped me find THE perfect tan boots and with the deal of a lifetime...buy one pair of shoes and get TWO FREE! TWO!!! Don't know how those people make any money.

Bow wow old friends...bow wow.

Sometimes You Just Need A Man To Punch...

Next Christmas, I won't care if I get any other presents...as long as I get one of these!!! You think I'm joking.

Just look at the poor dear...

I saw this lady the other day on the train. And poor woman, she was all tuckered out. It nearly broke my heart how cute she was. Then when the guy came to collect her ticket he startled her.

Good story, huh?

Hoarders, Listen Up!

It was a pain making the switch from summer to winter clothes this year. Aaron had to help me lug up 4 huge box crate things full of clothes. When the pile filled up our room I kinda had my own personal wake up call. I mean, I've always known that I have a lot of clothes and I'm a shopper. But it reached a ridiculous level.

So, I finally did it! I gave away 6 big kitchen trash bags (Glad Force-Flex® trash bags, mind you, they hold a lot more than the norm) full of clothes!

It feels so good to have gotten rid of those things that I always felt bad throwing away and often categorized as:

• But, this is for when I lose 5 lbs.
• But, this is for when I lose 10 lbs.
• But, this is for when I "paint" the house.
• But, this is for when I wanna feel like a hipster.
• But, this is the shirt I was wearing when Aaron proposed.
• But, these faded carpenter cargos could come in handy for a halloween costume.
• But, this is the shirt that I got for like 30 cents at Forever 21. Such a good deal!
• But, if I keep this I can show my daughters that their fads were also mine!

Say no to hoarding. :)

Meet My Freakeys!

My sweet friend Lindsey gave me these little guys. I can always find my keys now...just gotta feel for those rubbery alien arms! :)

I gotta go! I gotta go!

Every single day I used to find myself distressed and anxious, much like the cat above. That is of course, until I paid a recent visit to my doctor for a routine check-up.

During my visit, I confessed that I always held my pee. I was thinking that we could just share a laugh and move on. Not so much. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Yeah, I always hold my pee. (nervous laughter)

Doc: Brenda, why do you hold your urine, or "pee" as you like to call it.

Me: Well, I don't know. Cus I'm at work?

Doc: I'm assuming they have bathrooms at your work.

Me: Of course they do, when I'm at work I just get into the zone you know...can't get up. (At this point I'm still trying to make light of the situtation, more nervous laughter)

Doc: ...(silence)...

Doc: Well, let's see...how do I explain this. Brenda, when your body has the sensation to urinate, it's because your body needs to release certain fluids. Do you understand what I'm saying here?

Me: Yes.

Doc: Ok, can you promise me that you won't hold it in anymore?

Me: Promise.

Doc: (at this point he just stared at me for a good 10 seconds with a puzzled look)

The best part of this story is that later on that day I visited my parents and they were trying to convince my sister that holding in her pee was not good for her. Did I mention my sister is only 5? Sigh.

Aaronisms

I keep telling Aaron to blog, but all he'll write about are urinals and pastafarianism. So...its up to me to tell you a couple real things that you wouldn't know about about Aaron.

# 1- He has a thumb cove.

I call Aaron's hand a "thumb cove" because that's where his thumb hides in all day. It is the cutest thing ever..."that's just how my hands naturally fall!" or so he says. I'm always snapping pictures of it to prove that he does it, but he's in denial.

# 2- His body is 97% sodium.

So here he is at the movies. You can see that he has a large thing of buttery popcorn and a cup in his hand. What's the cup full of you ask...Soda? Water? Nah. It's full of BUTTER SALT!

This kills me. He will order his popcorn, but only have them fill it up half way, so he can pour his salt over the first half and then repeats the same thing when its completely full.

Gross, huh? But it's not over yet.

He then asks for a plastic cup and fills it halfway with these granules of death. Then, while we're watching the movie he will pour more on every other handful. Of course he feels like crap after he's done eating the entire thing. I need help convincing him this is not good for his body! :)

------------------------------------------------------

Aaron, I'm sorry I laugh at you because of your high sodium intake and thumb cove. And I'm sorry I told everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.

Aaron "Neti" Janmohamed

Twas 5:30am and I laid there in my comfy bed in peaceful slumber. Then out of nowhere, I was awakened by the loudest and most horrendous nose-blowing I have ever witnessed. My poor Aaron, he has some serious sinus problems when the weather starts to change. Lucky me, I get to bust out my boots and scarves...but Aaron, he just gets to bust out the Kleenex.

Well, I'll have you know that I just received a phone call from Aaron. He told me he was at Wal-greens and then says, "I'm buying a Neti Pot! You know...like on Oprah!"

I love the fact that I will enjoy watching Aaron attempt to use a Neti Pot...something I don't think I could ever do...freaky, it's just not normal to have running water drip out of your nose like that!

And...I also love the fact that my husband cited Oprah.